tomorrow's his big day

and im feeling kind of weird because i'm not feeling my first day of school jitters.

i always had them. i can remember like every. single. first. day. of. school. even the ones when i no longer went. i always try to imagine how someone else is thinking/feeling. even after my 4 year college graduation i still put myself through some sort of agony (actually then it was more like i wanted to acknowledge school was starting and i was not going). thinking about the supplies or worse yet (in emotion) the packed cars on the highways in August. you know where they're heading.

aiden voiced a little trepidation tonight at dinner. it was cute, his concerns, that he'd miss us. this day too shall pass now won't it. trying to savor that feeling he has instead of any others i could.

no but really maybe it's just my redirecting or call it avoiding, but im excited, the day is finally here! i haven't thought about it in so long, but starting tomorrow i get to have a good 8-hour day with just two kids.

i only listened to the positive comments about going from 2 to 3 when i was pregnant and then POW! let the truth be known 3 is so much harder than 2.

i have so. so. so. many plans for this new 2 child routine of mine in this new school year i am so looking forward to it.

trust me i have many concerns about aiden starting kindergarten. and not like will he know where his classroom is? will he be able to button his pants? (yes, yes). it's more like will his teacher be able to handle him? will he stop talking when he's asked to? will he get in trouble? (yes, yes, yes?)

still, i do admit i have first day anxieties. it's a paternal gene i've so nicely inherited. like i can't decide if i should make his lunch tonight or tomorrow morning. the big stuff you know.